We Swear it's not Mania
by LOL Factory
Summary: Expect the unexpected in We Swear it's Not Mania! This ain't trolling because we actually write legibly, keep characters IC, with a generous helping of gratituous lulz. HibarixOC in the worst, Not What You Think way possible.
1. Chapter 1

**RS here for the first chapter, enjoy!**

**Secret of the chapter: It's not my fault if you take it seriously.**

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"Class, today we have a new transfer student from overseas, her name is Mary S. Tan," the teacher smiled in tones that tried to be genial and friendly. "Would you like to tell the class about yourself?"

The new girl who stood in front of herself had natural black hair, tied up to the side with her fringe framing her face. She had a pale complexion that, combined with her sunken black eyes, made her look as if she was ill. Mary S. Tan stood still on the spot, her hands clasped neatly in front, her face tilting slightly downwards, as if she was far away.

The teacher waited for any sign of speech from the girl before hurriedly smiling sheepishly, about to direct the girl to a seat when she spoke.

"Yoroshiku," she spoke softly, the only Japanese phrase she thought she knew, her tone lifeless, before she continued. "Has anyone…seen…my prince…Hibari…?" she had added tonelessly, her voice similar to a black pit of darkness.

Silence fell over the class as they stared at the new girl in shock.

Quickly, the teacher laughed nervously before saying, "Thank you Mary-san. Please sit over there…"

Without another word, the girl moved systematically, similar to a zombie, towards the seat the teacher had pointed out. She sat down with a thump, and made no other sound or movement after that as the teacher continued the lesson.

* * *

Break came, and noisy chatter broke out in the class as students laughed and teased.

"Mary-san, I'm Kiryuu, and I come from Italy, where are you from?" a female classmate approached Mary S. Tan with a friendly smile.

"Hey, Mary! I'm Sayuki, and I come from Italy too," another female classmate enthused energetically. "In fact, that old grouch over there – Hayato-san – is from Italy too!"

The trio by the window turned and stared at the sound of Gokudera Hayato's name.

The new girl seemed to recover from her listlessness a little, and brighten up. She looked up at her classmates, and a tiny light shone in her eyes as she seemed to be deep in thought.

"Kiryuu-san is from Italy, and so is Hayato-san and Sayuki-san," she stated, rather that asked out loud, in soft, but gradually brightening tones. "If so, I'm from Italy too!" she cheered with a smile in her still lifeless eyes.

Two of the three boys by the window continued to stare; one of them had a pondering frown on his face, whilst the other's jaw had dropped to the table.

"She's from Italy?! She doesn't look it, and I don't remember her from any mafia families!" the silver haired boy – Gokudera – hissed urgently into his counterpart's ear.

"HIIE?! You're telling me she's another mafia?!" Gokudera's counterpart – Sawada Tsunayoshi, the man with the foot-long hair – half squealed.

"Haha, Tsuna sure is popular, to have girls chasing after him from Italy," the black haired boy – Yamamoto Takeshi – who had been gazing dreamily out of the window turned to the short boy and laughed.

"It's no joke you idiot!" Gokudera had to control himself from yelling at Yamamoto. "But I can't recognise her! We'd better listen and see if she carries any threat…"

Oblivious to the whispered conversation by the window, Mary S. Tan continued from where she had stopped.

"Hola amigos!" she grinned at the crowd around her, as if that sentence proved that she, too, was from Italy.

The pair by the window almost fell out of their seats.

"Umm, Mary-san," the female classmate whom Mary could not remember the name of rubbed her hair sheepishly. "That's not Italian…"

"It isn't?" Mary blinked innocently. "My bad…actually, I'm not from Italy at all –" this caused more curses and scraping of chairs from the window. "– I'm actually Hispanic! Ole! Ni men hao ma*?"

Everyone blinked.

"Eto…Mary-san," the same female classmate whom Mary still could not remember the name of looked even more shocked. "The first word was Spanish, but I think the following words are Chinese…"

"Ah…" Mary seemed to have lost that little energy she had to begin with as her head drooped down once more. "It seems that my identity is rather mixed, no?"

With that, the girls could get nothing else out of her as Mary S. Tan had withdrawn into her own little world, her lifeless eyes staring darkly past the table and at something no one could figure.

* * *

Meanwhile, more strange things were happening in the class above where the supernatural was no longer a question…

* * *

'**ni men hao ma' : I used Chinese 'pin yin' for this. It means "How are you?".**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **CP in the POV of a DIFFERENT character this time. The second OC is introduced. You know, the token crossdresser.

* * *

It was all she could do to keep from sniffing most audibly then storming out of the dingy classroom. Noisy humans, whirring ceiling fans, airborne pieces of last week's unfinished homework, piles of dust stacked in dark corners, and noisy _humans._

"Class," squeaked the elderly teacher beside her, "Settle down!"

Hardly anyone paid the hag any heed. She understood why. The class took approximately 4.5679827 minutes to settle down, if that amounted to anything. But once peace began reestablishing its reign, nearly thirty-five pairs of eyes turned themselves to fix on her.

The teacher nodded at her, a grotesquely vague indication of granting her permission to introduce herself.

…Wait. Her name – that was the only problem. She hadn't had any time to think up an alias for this universe. Her family was used to journeying across dimensions on various save-the-world or stop-your-plan-for-world-domination errands, but she never got accustomed to making up new names for herself.

Her given name was far from acceptable. _The OC. _Everyone on her home planet was named 'The-_something_'. But on this…Earth, it seemed to work differently.

Lucky for her memory, the yearbook she'd skimmed through beforehand as a form of cheap research came in handy.

"Yamamoto Takashi, at your service," she announced, voice maybe just a little too loud and boisterous. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Alright…Yamamoto-kun, was it? Please take the seat --" cue the notable pause while the short-sighted woman tried to find her an empty desk, "—Beside Sasagawa-kun."

"Sasagawa who?" she asked, then the teacher directed her gaze to a pair of empty desks. "No one's sitting there, you know. Is this 'Sasagawa' of which you speak an apparition amongst mankind?"

The class snickered, subjected to a most amusing show when their teacher turned a delicate shade of purple. _Oh, nice going there, newbie; causing trouble on your first day?_

"He's _absent_ today."

"That's nice," she shrugged, easing her way through the maze of desks and curious students to her assigned seat. A long day. Today was going to be a long day. She had a mission to fulfill – to once again stop the fates of two worlds from colliding – and here she was now, listening to some earthling drone on and on about chemicals like some broken tape recorder.

_The OC_, as she was called, was the daughter of the most prominent family back home – they were the descendants of the founders who had begun their civilization. They were gifted, so to speak. Gifted with the job of having to _save the goddamn world _every now and then when danger struck. She had been sent down to earth on a mission to ensure that certain key 'trigger events' would not happen. These events would eventually build up to the collision of both their home dimension and this universe as well, as prophesized by their dream seers.

_The end of the world! _She exclaimed in her head. _Not another one! _

Worlds tried to end themselves way too soon, at any rate.

But then again –

"Sorry I'm late!" someone shouted, just as the classroom doors were neared blasted off their hinges.

"Sasagawa-kun!"

_Who? _'Yamamoto Takashi' looked up from her desk at the new arrival. _Strange guy._

After the 3.561302 minutes wasted on lecturing this 'Sasagawa' fellow, the chap in question began heading her way.

"Who might you be?" she asked. "I believe the woman up front mentioned you once."

"You're a new student?"

"Indeed."

"You transferred in your _third year?_"

"Affirmative."

"So you're not in any clubs yet?"

"That is correct."

"Do you have fighting experience?"

She thought about all the times she had to face off against crazy shinigami, absurd ninja, and infectious demons. "…Yes."

"Extreme!" the fellow yelled, almost upturning his table in excitement. "Although you're in your third year, you're still a possible candidate for the Boxing Club!"

"…Boxing?"

"Yeah – one-on-one, man-to-man!"

She cast a suspicious look down at the school uniform she was wearing. Pants, eh? She'd forgotten completely about the dress-code. Girls were supposed to wear that pathetic excuse for an article of clothing. _No matter._ So maybe she _did _look like a guy with her long black hair tied up. Whoever cared?

"Most amusing," she murmured. "I shall keep that in mind. Meanwhile, may I ask if you know a certain Sawada Tsunayoshi in this school?"

Sawada Tsunayoshi. He was one of the persons involved in the 'trigger-events'. There was a fate in store for him that she would have to prevent no matter what. The list of 'Futures you have to Destroy' had already been given to her by her mother before the mission, and he was second on the list. She couldn't remember the first; she'd have to check it later.

"That guy! Why?"

"How badass is he now?"

"VERY badass!" Ryohei enthused. "He's one of the most extreme people I've ever laid my eyes on!"

She frowned. "…This was certainly unforeseen."

"Huh?"

"I have to prevent some of you from achieving certain goals. If you do indeed attain the aforementioned 'goals', your world and mine will simultaneously collide and self-destruct," she explained. "And I ask once more – _who_ are you?"

The boy blinked at her. "Sasagawa Ryohei," he said, and grasped her hand, shaking it like a dog would to a limp piece of red beef. "And you…?"

"Me? The O – oh, I apologize. My name is Yamamoto Takashi. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"You don't have to be so formal; you're _way _too uptight, you know."

"…Sorry?"

"That's more like it!"

_More like what!? _

"And your name sounds like Yamamoto's."

"My name _is _Yamamoto."

"No, no! There's this guy, his name's Yamamoto Takeshi, and yours is Ta_ka_shi…"

_Okay, so I named myself after this Takeshi fellow. I'd like to get a look at him._

"Is he a friend of Sawada Tsunayoshi? I'd like to meet him."

"How'd you know!? Are you psychic?"

She laughed, tapping her forehead. "Just informed."

Ryohei frowned. "Your voice is light for a guy's."

"I'm just a very pretty one, then."

* * *

_To be continued._


	3. Chapter 3

**I dedicate this chapter to Yamamoto~~ 8D whose birthday was on the 24****th**** of April!**

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She sat at her table, methodically chewing her homemade lunch. Spoon in, spoon out, swallow. Repeat.

"Mary-san, how does your home country look like? (the topic of finding out where she came from had been dismissed as hopeless)" one of the girls Mary S. Tan could not remember the name of tried to probe.

"My home country?" Mary S. Tan paused her efforts at mastication to reply in her funeral bell-like tones. "The sky is blue, the clouds are white, the trees are green, and there are a lot of buildings."

An awkward silence took place as Mary S. Tan continued to eat.

All of a sudden, Mary S. Tan dropped her spoon and froze in her chair. Everyone around looked at her expectantly as the spoon clanked dully on the plastic table. Mary S. Tan tilted her face upwards and sniffed, her noise quivering sensitively.

"Mary-san?" one of the surrounding girls looked concernedly.

The classroom door suddenly sung widely and banged shut, as if a mini tornado had occurred. Mary S. Tan was no longer in her seat.

* * *

'Yamamoto Takashi', on the way to visit a certain 'Sawada Tsunayoshi' stopped in his – her – it's? tracks, hair blowing wildly for a split second.

"What was that strange occurrence 2.578 seconds ago?" she mused. "This planet exudes strangeness."

"That was EXTREME!" her guide yelled, running back to his charge. It seemed that he had let the strange occurrence earlier blow him down the corridor.

* * *

Mary S. Tan crouched at the rooftop, sniffing the air like a dog.

* * *

On the rooftop lay a boy – man – thing, his legs crossed and his head propped up by his hands. His short, black hair was caressed gently by a small wind and the dark, bottomless pits that were his eyes stared fixedly at the moving clouds, his mouth set in a firm line. A red sash was attached to his left arm, and hints of a black jacket could be spotted draped across his shoulders.

And on his pristine black shoe, was a yellow midget.

"HIBARI!" Mary S. Tan shrieked, pouncing.

Hibari Kyouya, nemesis of evil, stood up abruptly, his hair blowing wildly in the wind that had suddenly picked up. His tonfas were drawn as his eyes narrowed into a dark glare.

"Aah!" Mary S. Tan skidded face first onto the floor.

"…" Hibari stared at the person who had just attempted to assault his shoe.

"Hibari-san! Did you forget about the meeting?" another thing burst out onto the rooftop, breathless.

"…is she alright?" the thing – Kusakube – added on lamely.

"Tch…" Hibari made an impatient noise, retracting his tonfas and walking towards the roof door.

The only sound heard was the hard tap of Hibari's boots against the roof floor. Not for long though. A barrage of squeaks and chirrups bombarded the head of Mary S. Tan, pecking ferociously.

The still body twitched slightly before lifting herself up slowly. There was a bright red patch on her forehead, and blood trickling down from fresh wounds on her knees.

"Hibari!" Mary S. Tan squealed joyfully.

Hibari Kyouya stopped in his tracks before disappearing out of the door.

"Don't be late for the meeting," he threw back curtly at Kusakube who stood there gaping.

Mary S. Tan grabbed the yellow thing from her head and squished it tightly. Muffled squeaks came from between her fingers as the fluffy yellow bird inflated cheerily to the size of a beach ball.

"What are you doing?" Kusakube asked the first thing that came to his mind.

"Playing of course!" Mary S. Tan replied cheerfully, pulling at the yellow feathers of the inflating bird.

"No, no, I mean, who are you, and what are you doing to Hibari-san's bird? Wait, why were you shouting for Hibari-san?" Kusakube corrected himself, shaking his head time and again, as if confused.

"Hibari! I've finally found you!!" Mary S. Tan exclaimed, ignoring Kusakube completely.

The shrill cheeps of the yellow bird rang out as it flew cheerfully around Mary S. Tan's head.

"W-who are you talking to?" Kusakube looked around in alarm.

"Hibari of course! He's the dearest, sweetest, and cutest person in my whole life! I was so sad when I lost him!!" Mary S. Tan's mouth formed a perfect 'D'.

"Hibari? Dear? Sweet? Cute?" Kusakube looked around warily for the head of the disciplinary committee. "Oh shit! I'm late!"

"Of course! Can't you see his perfect little eyes, and his voice is so sweet and charming! And his soft, yellow feathers! Isn't he a darling?"

Kusakube stopped mid step in his course of leaving the rooftop.

"Yellow?" was this woman crazy?!

"Yea! See?" Mary S. Tan held the yellow fluff ball out.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Kusakube was now about to go into shock. "You named Hibird, Hibari?!"

"What Hibird?" Mary S. Tan rolled her eyes in a cross manner. "That's such a disgusting name, unbefitting of the cutest, most perfect being in the universe!!"

The yellow bird chirped, as if in agreement.

* * *

**End chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**SO YEAH HERE WE ARE!**

The OC stared after the girl whom had just whizzed past her. "Most intriguing," she said. "Where's she going?"

Ryohei shrugged. "Oh, if it's down that way she's probably heading for the roof!"

"The…roof?"

"Yeah, but she'd better watch out though. She a friend of yours?"

The OC shook her head, rather puzzled by the quaint antics of the mortals. Roofs, were they regarded with much respect here? Was it a dangerous portal to another world that was to be respected? Most intriguing!

"What should she be watching out for, may I ask?"

"That," Ryohei paused. "Hibari Kyoya. You're new, you probably wouldn't know. Yet. Bit of a notorious fella."

The name seemed to jog something in The OC's memory. She had heard that name before, spoken by her Grand Elder back home. She had _seen _that name before – it was Number One on the list of 'Futures you have to Destroy' she had somewhere inside her schoolbag! Hibari Kyoya, what an unlucky man to be first on that list, she thought.

"Excuse me," she bowed, "I must be leaving. This Hibari Kyoya, I have business with him, you see. I came all the way here just for that."

"Oh! An engagement!?"

"Not quite. He has an extremely volatile future that may or may not be the key trigger event to ending this world and mine."

"Not that alien thing again!"

She shrugged, nonchalant. "I apologize for the inconvenience caused. Now, if you would be so kind, I would really be grateful if you could show me the way to the roof…?"

Ryohei blinked, and decided the person before his eyes was a nutcase to want to see Hibari. Unless, of course, she had really mad skills good enough to rival the prefect's? That would certainly be a sight to see! This 'Yamamoto Takashi' would certainly be a vital addition to the Boxing Club!

But before The OC could reach the rooftop, her ears picked up the faint sounds of a girl screeching. Oh no, whatever could be going on up there? Was Hibari Kyoya as dangerous a man to threaten girls?

"Quick!" she called to Ryohei, whom was directing her from behind. "Someone's being violated on the roof!"

Ryohei, on the other hand, didn't know _who _exactly was on the roof besides Hibari so his mind went straight to the gutter. "What!?"

The OC nodded briefly, then started racing up the flight of stairs to the roof, Ryohei yelling out a 'hey, wait up, you!' in response to this change of pace. There was no time to lose. Someone was in trouble!

And things turned out to be not quite what they seemed to be.

"Freeze, you cad! Unhand the victim!" The OC hollered, bursting through the door and out onto the rooftop.

Then she collided into a person whom seemed to just have (almost) exited the rooftop.

Some dude with a weird hairstyle, mid-conversation with the girl whom had just whizzed The OC by earlier stopped, and turned to stare at the little accident. Whoever The OC had just smashed into was apparently important enough to earn her mortified looks all around.

Behind her, Ryohei finally caught up, peeking over her shoulder to examine the mess. Then his eyes picked out someone in the tangled darkness.

"Yo," he tapped The OC on the shoulder, then pointed to the boy she bumped into. "That's the person you've been searching for!"

Hibari Kyoya narrowed his eyes and almost took a chunk out of Ryohei's left shoulder.

**TBC.**


	5. Chapter 5

"You! You fiend! Violating little girls on rooftops! How hideously inappropriate for a man your age!" she hollered at the man before her.

Hibari looked down condescendingly at his new assaulter before pushing her out of his way and continuing his walk to the disciplinary room.

The OC fell backwards, stumbling over a step and descending the stairs without actually touching the ground. She seethed with rage as she clung on to the railing. That imbecile! He deserved to be obliterated by a thousand little munchkins and sent riding over a rainbow!

His future, it must be destroyed!

So the first thing that came to her mind was – assault him back. It was only logical. Praying that the nice boy who brought her here would not get in the way, she bounced back up the stairs, and proceeded to further impede Hibari's journey down the stairs.

Kusakabe face-palmed. It was going to be a long day.

It was a brawl. A very silent one. One that involved both parties eyeballing each other.

The edges of the hallway tinged green, light bulbs crackled, the silence was unearthly.

Ahh. The OC smiled. How like The Motherland.

"And you know, I moved all the way here to find you!" like a pricked bubble, the tense atmosphere was shattered by a girl appearing from the rooftop, seemingly talking to herself, a yellow fluffball in her hands.

The OC looked more closely. WAIT. Correction, the girl was not talking to herself, but to the yellow fluffball.

* * *

Mary S. Tan walked down the corridor, heedless of the gawping expressions of the people who lined it. She walked on, straight until she came between that bird-napper and the girl who was trying to stomp on his foot. Then she stopped.

"You!" she glared shrilly at Hibari, one hand clasped around the yellow bird protectively, and the other, index finger outstretched and pointing accusingly at him.

A vein in Hibari's temple seemed to twitch in irritation. He was late.

"Your name is Hibari, right?" she jabbed his chest.

"…" Hibari felt like breaking the finger that was smearing dust over his pristine, white shirt, however, being sandwiched between two raving crazy girls and trying to avoid being bashed in the head by one of them wasn't exactly very easy.

"Change it!" the girl demanded shrilly.

The OC watched as this strange newcomer proceeded to jab the man. This suited her just fine. Taking her chance as her victim was being distracted, she proceeded to try and kick him once more. It seemed as if his legs would never stop moving, though.

"Just wait a minute!" Kusakabe butted in, his hands flailing and face paling. "Why should Kyouya-san have to change his name?"

Mary S. Tan gave a loud 'humph' as she swiveled around to face Kusakabe. "Isn't it _obvious_? Hibari's totally adorable, sweet, amusing, and much, much, more! Hibari's like the sun, the only source of energy for our Earth, this ecosystem! That which gives plants light energy for photosynthesis, so the energy can be spread to the rest of the living organisms on our planet! The very core of our survival! But that –" she whipped her hand around to point at Hibari, narrowly missing his nose. "– that _thing_ over there! He violates the pinnacle of science, logic, and all things good and sweet! He is terrible! Horrendous! Should such a wondrous name like 'Hibari' belong to him as well…my Hibari…my Hibari will be forever sullied!"

As if to parry her dramatic speech, the school bell chimed cheerily, resounding across the hallway. This marked the end of their break.

_Rule 17a), section ii part d) of the Namimori High school rule book: No loitering around the corridors after the bell for break has chimed._

Ever vigilant in his duties as head of the disciplinary committee, Hibari's gaze swept across the corridors, seemingly ignorant of the fact that he was being cornered by two little twerps.

As one, the onlookers seemed to squeak and the hall cleared in a matter of seconds. 2.5721348 seconds – The OC mused, before returning to her attempts of defenestrating the cad in front of her.

The fact that he was late for the disciplinary meeting and that he would soon be violating rule 17a), section ii part d), made Hibari's brain whirr like clockworks as his muscles moved involuntarily. There was no way that _he_ would be caught breaking a rule. With new found speed and dexterity, he escaped the little circle The OC and Mary S. Tan had created, and vanished down the hallway in a matter of 0.134288 seconds, as The OC duly recorded.

"You coward! Do all you earthlings violate little girls on a regular basis and leave as if nothing has happened? Come back here!" The OC hollered after the man, making haste to follow him.

"Oh dear," was all the dumbfounded Kusakabe could mutter before he followed suit towards the direction of the Disciplinary Room. There would be many bitings and deaths before the day was over…

A bewildered and indignant Mary S. Tan was left in the corridor, leaving the undeterred Ryohei with the air of a big brother to guide her back to her class.

* * *

"Mary-chan, where did you go? Lessons are almost starting!" a girl told Mary S. Tan reproachfully as the latter entered the classroom.

"I'm sorry Kayu-san, I had some…matters to settle," Mary S. Tan told her distractedly, trying to force a hyperactive, yellow bird to settle down in her pocket.

"It's _Kiryuu_…" the girl looked appropriately hurt.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Mary S. Tan muttered, now trying to discreetly dump a handful of what looked like biscuit crumbs into her pocket. "It's kind of hard, you know? Some names are just…hard to remember…"

**TBC. (:**


End file.
